I just finished a study on Tamar. Her story is amazing. She was betrothed to Judah's son Er (Judah was one of the men who sold his own brother, Joseph, into Egyptian slavery). Judah's household was cursed because of this deed as he never repented. His sons were wicked and evil. Tamar was a canaanite and married into Judah's household, who were Isrealites. Er was stuck down by God for his wickness before Tamar could bear a son. (Remember that in these times there was no greater purpose, no other purpose, actually, than for a woman to bear sons.) Law said that Tamar now belonged to the second son, Onan. However, Onan was evil too. He married her, but would not allow her to get pregnant because he did not want her to bear a son that would not be his heir. See, the Law stated that if your brother dies and you marry his wife, the first son is the dead man's heir. The second son would be the current husband's heir. Twisted I know, but that was the way of the Law then. So, God stuck down Onan for being wicked as well as not honoring his dead brother by giving her a son. It was her right, as written in the law, to be given a son in the Judah household. So after that son died, Judah sent Tamar back to her father's house to wait until his 3rd son was old enough to marry her. But Judah just feared his last son, Shelah would die too. Now, imagine the situation Tamar was in. Surely, everyone thought she was a witch for having 2 dead husbands and now she has been sent home to her father with no sons and a widow twice over. She had to have brought shame upon her father for being sent away from Judah's household, a man who paid her father a steep price for her marriage to Er. 6 years came and went and Judah never sent for Tamar. Judah's wife died and word got back to Tamar that Judah would be attending the Sheep Sheering in a nearby town. Tamar had waited for Judah to do the right thing but now she was determined to get what was rightly hers. If she never bore a son, she would live a life of shame and desperation no doubt. Law stated that if Judah did not give her his last son, then it was Judah's responsibility to give Tamar children. Yes, thats right...your own father in law.....yep I have the willies too. And yes this story is in the Bible! Cool stuff in there if you read it. But, ok, that is how it was. So Tamar, a grown woman now, dresses herself like a prostitute and tricks Judah into sleeping with her. Well, he was a willing participant, giving Tamar his staff and seal as payment. Once the pregnancy is known, her father wants to kill her for committing adultery. (He nor Judah knows the truth). Judah gets word that Tamar has been unfaithful to his household and orders her to be burned! But Tamar's handmaiden gives Judah back his staff and seal proving this child is his. Judah has compassion on her. He repents to the Lord for all his discretions by sacrificing a lamb. Tamar gives birth to not one son but two!!!! Judah honors Tamar by raising her sons and never sleeping with her again. Judah's house is redeemed. Oh and blessed! Remember that brother who was sold? Yep, he's now highest in command right next to the Pharaoh and ends up saving Judah and all his house during a famine. And God choses Judah's lineage, not his brother Joseph's, to bring about the Messiah!

So here is what I learned: 1) You can be totally in God's will, right where God purposed you to be, and suffer because of other's sins. Tamar suffered greatly because Judah would not repent and lived a life of sin. She was caught in the crossfire of God's wrath.
2) It is possible to be wronged by others and walk with grace, having mercy on others. Tamar did it with grace. She could have shamed Judah by proclaiming his sins at any time, fought for her justice by disgracing him. But she didn't.

3) God will always restore you. In the end, He blessed her two-fold. She remained faithful and God got the glory. Judah repented and became favored by God. So no matter what you have done, God will surely forget it once you have repented and will redeeem you! Giving you more that you deserve but placing you back right where you should be! Wow! SO humbling.

My prayer is that I can see God's will even when the fire burns hot and can stay on course even when the troubles threaten my very existence. I hope I can walk with grace and give mercy to those who hurt me knowing that God sees me through! Tamar played an important role in bringing about the Messiah! And she suffered in the process. But her journey was well worth the cost....