So last night was an interesting night in our house. I took my eyes off the Lord and my flesh got in the way. Trey and I had a fight, which is unusual for us. We have disagreements but hardly ever actually have a real fight. And I admit I started it. Let me give you the story. Trey just got home from Nashville on monday, he was recording vocals for the album. They were not able to finish all the songs, partly because Trey was feeling under the weather and his sinuses were clogged, and partly because there just wasn't enough time. So it was decided last night that he has to return ASAP to finish it.....as Neil would say, seriously? They have almost the entire 11 song record done in 16 total days. That's all the instrumentation including a strings ensemble and a horn quartet....all that's left is Trey to sing 4 songs, some bvgs (thats background vocals) and then some comps (that means editing, picking the best takes of each song). So yeah, I think that's pretty darn good, do we have to finish this right now? I thought we were ahead of schedule.....Anyway, so that's how the drama started. The producer called Trey asking if he could come back this Saturday through Tuesday. As Trey is making these plans and asking me while still on the phone, if that would be ok, I'm thinking "no" . I have to work all week. My luxury of my in laws being here is over....my mom is at the beach so what am I to do with the kids? (my mother is gonna feel guilty reading this....please don't mom, it was inevitable. She was gracious enough to ask me if I needed her this weekend anyway before she made plans.) Oh and the band leaves next Thursday for Pennsylvania. So there's more child care I have to figure out. So my mind was racing with the fact that now I have to call my boss and see if I can rearrange my schedule and call James' preschool and rearrange his schedule and hope the daycare has room for baby girl and now I have to pay for that and there is $43 in my account and nobody I know will watch them for free besides mom and be willing to get to my house at 6am til 6pm! Yeah so I was not in a good place and turned the focus on myself. And I said something like, "no, we will not work it out, you mean I will work it out and at least you get to go do something fun!" Yep, shouldn't have said it. It turned into argument about everything under the sun. You know how that goes....but the root of it all was I am overwhelmed and Trey feels guilty that I am feeling this way. Alot of things shouldn't have been said, but now that they have, you can't take em back. But we ended with apologies and prayer. And hopefully we are better off for it. We are only human and I was not feeling like super mom last night. Most days that's exactly who I am trying to be, mostly because I have to be, probably because I try to rely on myself and not Him, who gives me strength. I failed to let Him take over last night. The truth that this journey would get harder before relief came is now in full force. We are there. And Trey leaves for a 24 day radio promotion tour in September. Yikes. I catch myself questioning Gods timing. Why couldn't this be before we had children or when they are older and in school? But I know He is perfect and knew all of this beforehand. I just have to trust Him and continue to obey. That road always leads to His will and thats where I want to be, the only place worth staying.